When the former junior state senator from Chicago, one Barack Obama—a man no one knew diddly about—decided, “Hey, I’m gonna run for president!” people were eager to learn more about this promising upstart. Uncle Joe Biden was curious about Barack. Joe said at first blush that Obama seemed “clean” and “articulate,” which, I think, would be a hate crime if a conservative said that about him.

Anyhoo, Obama impressed many chiefly because he could enthusiastically read vague, cliché-riddled speeches off a teleprompter that included lots of big words like nobody’s business! This ability to read hazy political speeches in public without putting folks into a full-on level IV coma left the bedazzled masses wondering, “Who is this masked man? Who are his buddies?” and … “Are there more like him? He’s a doozy!”

Yep, people wanted to know from whence he came, what books he read and what groups supported him because he was three words: A-May-Zing! As the various news outlets started finding out that BHO’s buddies were sordid, anti-American fellows of the baser sort; his favorite book was dedicated to Lucifer; his endorsers included Communists and Hamas; and his folks weren’t exactly the Huxtables, the mainstream media decided, “Eh, let’s not talk about his past and his present friends and philosophy but rather how inspiring his fuzzy speeches are and how skinny he is.”