When I first heard of surreptitious EPA flyovers of feed lots in Nebraska and Iowa, I laughed. “Ranks right up there with the black helicopter stories,” I thought. Only people who wear tinfoil hats and cover their windows with Reynolds Wrap® (Trusted Since 1947) to keep the government from scanning their brains would buy into that nonsense.

May I borrow a roll of aluminum foil from someone? I would drop by my local Hy-Vee to purchase some but I’m afraid the feds might get their hands on the supermarket’s scan data and find out what was included in my afternoon purchase of milk, beer and bread. Men in Black 4 might start with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones knocking on my front door.

“Mr. Jolley?” Smith asks. “We’ve just received some information that you bought a quantity of aluminum foil on June 4, 2012, and during a recent flyover, we were unable to see into your kitchen due to some odd reflective material covering your windows. Would you mind telling us what you did with the foil?”